The reward is in the giving expecting nothing in return. What really fueled my need to write my book series was my parents: they were married 30-years divorced 19-years then got remarried to each other. 100% forgiveness is how mom repaid the man that caused us so much pain. “You need to forgive your father too Jamie dear.” She told me a thousand times. “Never!!!“ and that stubborn pain and hatred for my own dad bled into every aspect of my life. Until a childhood friend took me aside after a night of drinking back in 2005 a year after they remarried and gave me the best advice “you need to forgive your dad bro and do it in person.” So I flew out to Florida and I told him 6-words that changed both our lives for the better “I love you.” And “I forgive you.” And we hugged and cried and the heavy burden was lifted. He had early onset dementia, so it was nice to have done it before it while he remembered me. The next 13-years it got worse. My 3-older siblings would not could not forgive him. It was as though we were kids again and their hate fueled lashing out at me caused me to love him 4x’s more for all of us. Before mom died she told me to see dad out with respect and dignity. The key is you know who they are. Visit your mom/dad as often as possible, it helped me and him in his final 3-years and continued saying “excellent” after I asked him how he was feeling, which gave me a whole knew perspective on life. I sang and read the paper to him, made a collage of his entire family on his bedroom wall so his caregivers would know his life. Even though she/he forgets, they’re still our parents. He had an amazing attitude until the very end last day of his life. He is The Matador in my book The Matador and The Mustang by my pen name J. C. Burkesmith. If you or someone you love who is struggling or struggled with family problems, I guarantee my book will help because it helped the one person I was able to change, me.
My book is available everywhere or
https://jcburkesmith.com/
Part 2 and 3 are coming out early 2024, which will end the Series then there’s an incredible book about my mom. It takes just one letter to turn a bitter life to a better one.
OLDER LONGER
I’ve been old longer than I’ve been young,
The years gone so fast like a sprinter on the run,
Feeling undone the human race has but only just begun,
This life is not about things, places, or others,
It’s about helping, healing our neighbors’ sisters and brothers,
Fighting a war without a purpose or cause,
I hit the road to be free but really need to pause,
A button pressed from my heart to a finger,
This young man within me still lingers,
From a time, long ago, fighting continuously proving,
God resides in me “I live within you my child keep moving”
My fast life turning days like pages in a book,
Can barely recognize those picture that I took,
Wanting to focus on health is better than wealth,
I’m fierce now dressed in black trying to be stealth,
But to teach our youth about living a certain way,
Comes from no hesitation with opportunities gone astray,
Success in recognizing the win doesn’t come from outside opponents,
It comes from trying our best, pass or fail in God given moments,
Breaking them down one by one like a puzzle with a picture,
Seeking reading like the riddles in God’s ancient scripture,
Wanting so much to be somewhere, somebody has it all,
We only learn when we get up from that fall,
Overthinking our past, our youthful looks from afar,
Healing comes from helping others with their inner scars
Inside the pain lives then why do we fight,
Turning our wrongs from our past into right,
To gain ground outside is not where we live,
To travel within our mental & emotional pain, we must learn to forgive,
Our self and those who hurt us the most,
From land, sea and sky that hinders the shores from our inner coast
We watch our teams score points in a game,
Our life is the same not others to blame,
He said she said cuts from within our heart,
Never give up hope on each other a new day a new start…
By
J.C. Burkesmith
WHERE I CAME
This is where it happened,
When my pace began to dampen,
I started too fast,
Got to make my life last,
Thinking too much about the past,
I stop finally coming to the end,
It is about a message I want to send,
To the world after I’m gone,
My heart is pounding from the path that I’m on.
Got to stay strong think positive,
Close my eyes and want to live and give.
God is testing me by the sea the waves crashing then ending at my feet, in defeat or a start?
Is the end when we depart?
Can’t change need to rearrange the thoughts in my mind, be kind to myself, stop living in pain, thinking the same ...be good, do good, free of where I came...
By
J.C. Burkesmith
RIGHT BY THE WATER
Nine-months from seed in the womb,
As we get nearer to our tomb,
Evolving, revolving, the problems in our life,
Cause us so much inner pain and strife,
Our ancestors five-thousand years ago who were they?
What risks did they take? Were they victims or were they prey? Where do they lay?
Right by the water is where I choose to run,
Right by the water is where my life has begun,
Right by the water is where the setting of the sun,
Rising to the East the day has begun,
Setting to the West the day comes and we try our best,
Connecting, resurrecting with our fellow kin,
Neighbors in front of us is who we are from within,
We have the same problems we have the same past,
Friendships we choose, we choose to last,
Our Mom and our dad the memories that we had,
Keep me going as I live, I will always be their young lad the only parents I’ve ever had,
Three sons and a daughter whose tongues continue to slaughter,
As we think of the good but mostly the bad,
All the reflections of the life that we had,
Focusing on not gain but pain, why do I think of this so much?
Why do I allow it to continue to be my crutch?
Having faith of knowing that they’re still here,
In a room next to me having a beer!
Watching my life like scenes from a movie,
Sitting in a recliner with popcorn and a soda saying it’s groovy,
The audience is every relative I’ve ever had,
Some were good, some were bad,
Right by the water as I continue to write,
Right by the water I will always be kind before a fight,
Right by the water with the rock in the distance,
Right by the water as I try and give myself a chance,
Right by the water as I stretch my abilities,
Right by the water as there are possibilities,
Right by the water reflections of my life,
Right by the water it hurts like a knife,
Right by the water Lord God please continue to give me my life,
Right by the water testing alters our path,
Right by the water I wasn’t good in algebra, English or math,
Right by the water our family had a heck of a wrath,
Right by the water,
I write by the water…
By
J.C. Burkesmith
JCBURKESMITH.COM
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